Dan J. Berger: How Do You Truly Find a Sense of Belonging?

Can You Really Build a True Sense of Belonging?

Many entrepreneurs chase success, recognition, and financial milestones, but how many pursue a true sense of belonging?In this profound conversation, Dan J. Berger — founder of Social Tables and author of The Quest — shares how early life experiences of abandonment, adoption, and immigration shaped his lifelong search for belonging. Through entrepreneurship, self-exploration, and personal growth, Dan discovered that belonging isn't just a byproduct of success — it's a fundamental human need.

This article captures the key insights from Dan’s journey, offering readers a powerful framework for understanding their own belonging — whether in business, relationships, or life.

From Brokenness to Belonging: Dan’s Story

Dan’s story begins with a deep sense of disconnection. Even before birth, adoption plans shaped his early experiences. "As soon as I was born, I was taken from [my mother's] arms and given to a family," Dan recalls. Later, his adoptive family faced its own struggles, and a move from Israel to the U.S. only intensified his feelings of isolation.

To fill the void, Dan often created communities — starting bike clubs, treehouses, and eventually a company. But these efforts were rooted more in survival than passion. "Starting my company was a way to really address my lack of belonging. It happened to be 120 people after seven years and $20 million in revenue, but I did it initially because I was alone," he explains.

Entrepreneurship: A Temporary Home for Belonging

Unlike many entrepreneurs who claim they were born to build businesses, Dan’s entrepreneurial journey was unplanned.After enduring a toxic consulting job post-MBA, a chance encounter with a neighbor — and a shared love of bulldogs — led to the idea for Social Tables, a software company for event planning.

Initially a side project, Social Tables grew into a thriving enterprise, raising $30 million in venture funding and serving 6,000 customers. Yet success came at a cost."My life was on tape delay," Dan shares. "While my peers were building families and lives, I was building a company."

When Dan eventually sold Social Tables, he faced an unexpected emptiness. His source of belonging — colleagues, collective experiences, casual encounters — disappeared overnight. The sale coincided with the COVID-19 pandemic, forcing him into a period of deep reflection and healing.

The Belonging Archetypes: Which One Are You?

Through extensive research, personal growth programs like the Hoffman Process, and a commitment to understanding human needs, Dan developed a framework for belonging.

He identifies four belonging archetypes based on two factors: attachment style (secure vs. insecure) and need to belong (high vs. low):

• Meerkat (Anxious Belonger): Insecure attachment and high need to belong (Dan’s own archetype)

• Chimpanzee (Eager Belonger): Secure attachment and high need to belong

• Snow Leopard (Reluctant Belonger): Insecure attachment and low need to belong

• Wolf (Independent Belonger): Secure attachment and low need to belong

  
  

Each archetype points to different "belonging fuels" that refill our emotional tanks — activities and connections that nurture our sense of belonging.

"Once we figure out your belonging type," Dan notes, "you can match your belonging activities to your personality."

👉 Take Dan’s free Belonging Quiz here.

The Six Belonging Fuels

Dan categorizes fuels into traditional and non-traditional types:

Traditional Fuels:

• Interpersonal Relationships: Close, unconditional connections

• Collective Experiences: Group events, memberships, shared experiences

• Casual Encounters: Micro-interactions like greetings, casual conversations

  
  

Non-Traditional Fuels:

• Symbolic Bonds: One-sided relationships with fictional characters, public figures

• Esteem Building: Achievements, awards, recognition

• Contemplative Practices: Spirituality, meditation, connection to nature or a higher power

  
  

Each person’s fuel mix is unique. For example, Dan realized after selling Social Tables that he needed to rebuild his tank — seeking friendships, collective experiences, casual community interactions, and spiritual practices to feel whole again.

Building Belonging in Organizations

Dan’s insights extend beyond personal growth. For leaders and entrepreneurs, fostering belonging within teams is vital.He argues that belonging is not just DEI (diversity, equity, and inclusion) — it's a deeper, daily human need.

"Belonging is a feeling and an experience someone has when they feel seen, heard, and valued," Dan says. "It’s the job of every manager to create a culture of belonging on their team."

To create a culture of belonging:

1. Start with hospitality — make your workplace welcoming.

2. Foster safety — so employees can show up as themselves.

3. Encourage engagement — let people contribute meaningfully.

4. Support commitment — create shared goals.

5. Nurture belonging — both through work and supporting personal life balance.

   
   

In today’s post-COVID world, employees value personal fulfillment as much as professional success. Smart leaders will adapt by focusing not just on productivity but also on belonging.

Conclusion: Belonging is a Choice — Start Yours Today

Dan J. Berger’s journey reminds us that a sense of belonging doesn’t automatically come from success, recognition, or even building community — it requires intentional self-discovery and nurturing.

Whether you're an entrepreneur, leader, or someone navigating personal transitions, understanding your belonging archetype and fuel needs can transform how you connect with others and with yourself.

Ready to explore your belonging type?Take the free quiz at BelongingQuest.com/quiz and start building the connections that matter most.

If you want a full copy of The Belonging Quest, reach out to Dan directly via danjberger.com or his social channels.

Because true belonging — the kind that lasts — always starts within.